Remember how it feels

As a young coach I attended a CAP Course, and while I’m sure I learned many things at the time, one particular lesson has always stuck with me. Coaches were asked to serve some balls, and after working on a few things they threw a curveball; serve with your non-dominant hand. I don’t know if it went over or even came close (unlikely), or anything else about it, but I remember the feeling; AWKWARD. Everyone kind of looking at each other thinking is it ok to look a bit foolish right now? Afterward the leaders noted; this is how your players feel.

15+ years later, and it’s a lesson I still carry with me. One that’s easy to forget the longer I’ve coached. I’ve been fortunate to coach a wide range of players, multiple NCAA D3 All-Americans straight down to elementary school beginners and pretty much everything in between. And at some point every one of those players was asked to do something that felt awkward, which probably made them uncomfortable and a little nervous of how they may look in front of their peers. Despite their best efforts, it just took time.

As a coach, it’s really important to remember that feeling when you’re in the gym. Creating an environment that allows players to try new things without fear of failure, without the judging eyes of their coaches and teammates. Realizing that it may just take time and that failure is part of the recipe for success is vital. Encouraging players and letting them know it is ok for it not to click right away; persistence is the key. Moving the needle a little bit closer each day is a success, it’s when the needle stops moving that there is a bigger issue.

Maybe most important is having the coach and best players model that behavior as well. Letting them see your best player try a new jump serve. Let them see your best hitter try and back set a ball on the move. The key is that they realize that every player can look ‘bad’ at something, and yet they keep working at it. If your best players can fail and keep working at it without negativity, then your weakest players will feel the same and be more accepting of risks. When working in a HS or college program, it can also help those players remember what it’s like to be a young player, and to have a little more patience.

As a coach, mentoring your stronger players, your leaders, and even just your older players as to what they should expect and how they should act. Imagine the impact of a senior captain walking over to a promising member of the freshman team and offering a reminder that ‘I struggled with the same thing, keep working at it and I’m sure you’ll get it.’ Or the varsity setter offering to toss a few balls after practice for the JV setter who is struggling with a specific skill. Maybe I’m lucky, but most of the players I coached relished the opportunity to be that leader, most just needed a reminder. As a coach, you can kill two birds with one stone developing leaders while providing the ever crucial peer support. It’s one thing to say ‘you got the next one’ it’s another to share your own failures, or offer your time.

But aside from creating a positive environment, what else can you do? For one, I think it’s important to recognize the individual you are working with. How much body awareness do they have? How much understanding do they have of what they’re trying to do?

From the initial example of serving with my non-dominant hand, I knew exactly what it was supposed to look like. Making it happen was a different story. So if your player understands the movement, but is still struggling, give them a chance to experiment. I’ll watch them do it a few times, maybe offer a basic cue for them to focus on, and then I’ll let them know I want them to play with the skill and I’ll walk away. Isn’t this how people learned before youth sports became a multibillion dollar business? Watch an athlete on TV, in the gym at an older siblings game, etc… then go home and try it yourself. Take away the pressure of doing it in front of someone. Take away the reliance on me for feedback and let them try and build more self-awareness. When I come back I ask them how it’s going, and I try and help by isolating the biggest issue, or the part that everything else is based off of (for serve think toss, for hitting think approach, etc…) and give feedback specific to just that part. As they gain consistency with that part, progress through other cues to fine tune the skill. Remember, part of it may just take time. Fighting through the frustration and failure is as much a skill to be developed as the serve.

But what about the player who doesn’t really understand what it should look like? A visual demonstration is really important. The more that demo looks like them the better. If you’re coaching 12 year old girls, don’t have the 6’6” man on his college’s winter break demonstrate hitting, have the 12 year old girl playing up on the 14’s team demo, or a strong 13 year old player demo. Make it something they can relate to, and feel like “if she can do that, I want to do that too!”

Beyond that, I think it’s important to simplify it as much as possible. I think this is also a situation where progressions can be valuable. When I’m working with newer players on their serve, we almost always start by isolating the toss. Why? Because the toss is often an afterthought to a beginning player, they’re just thinking about hitting it as hard as they can or worried about getting it over. So this is a chance to emphasize the importance of the toss, and see how consistent it is. It’s a chance to focus on one part of it, without worrying about the rest. After a few minutes we move to serving; usually at a closer distance to the net. Again, by moving it up, you’re reducing the internal thought of having to ‘hit it as hard as possible’, and the pressure of trying to get it over. As they build consistency and confidence in the basics, they move back. If something falls apart by taking a few steps back then we address what went wrong. It allows them to learn the skill while remaining more under control. Progressions and part based training (i.e. working on arm swing on a box) shouldn’t be used all the time, or in every situation, but I’m a firm believer that they can help athletes figure new skills out quicker because they can feel and understand exactly what they need to do without having to process as many things simultaneously.

Back to the original lesson. Remember how it feels to learn something completely new. If you’ve forgotten, try something you weren’t good at. Go to Khan Academy (it’s free) and try some advanced math, chemistry or electrical engineering. Or if STEM is your thing, try drawing something free hand that you’re willing to share on social media. Shudder at the thought? Well, that may be how your gangly 6’ tall 14 year old feels about her approach, arm swing, or blocking footwork. It’s hard! Which foot do I go with first? The girl next to me is so much better! Coach thinks I should just get it! “It’s simple” he says!

Take a few minutes before practice to remember that what may be second nature to you, may be foreign to them. Go out there and serve with your off-hand and let them know you’re going to work on that for a few minutes each day too. It’ll be a great reminder for you, and lesson for them.